surat untuk Emak,

assalamualaikum Ma,

only Allah swt knows how badly i am missing you,
i miss to see everything about you,your funny smiling faces that you will always show it to me if i tried to make something to you like making your favorite hot drinks which you always complained a lot to me remember? i wish you are here with me at home,cooking the meals,watching you teaching the kids,teaching me english and maths till i get cry because you were too strict,helping you out with the house chores,looking at you jahit baju kurung for raya and helping you changing the langsir,decorating the house till you felt satisfied,arguing with ayah till he gets tired and start to make wierd faces to u too,hihi i miss to listen on both of u bile gaduh and gelak.ma,ayah is alhamdullilah okay, he's doing well with his new job,im hoping that the taxi didnt give him alot of stress, but he kept complaining if the passengers are banglas or indons haha typical ayah kan and i guess ayah has followed your habit lah ma,he turned to be so pembersih,sikit sikit vacuum rumah tak rumah pun he vacuum plak the cars,tapi sama je rumah still berabuk jugak hehe

Ma, im already studying in university,currently pursuing my diploma,im doing okay in my studies. im learning something that i love and passionate at which is the photography,but theres nothing yang senang dalam hidup ni ma, the course are not only snap and go study but theres something that i had to crack up my head off to find an idea and to understand it very well in every photograph that i took,so that it wont be misinterpret.i had to explore many new things so that i could produce wonderful images. ma, people around me are okay too,ive met alot of great friends and whenever i get to know each of them,it had thought me that life had so much of dramas. if you're here i would love to let them to meet you,my cool dearest emak :)

Ma, our families are doing well and getting bigger too, you had so many grandchilds now,they would call you tokSu if youre here playing,giggling with them, theyre all adorable and smart too. makTeh and makCah your two elder sisters were really missing you. they both are still the same as before. just theyre busy with their new daily life,which is jaga cucu! hehe they had so much fun sgt. ma, ive been to angah's place. i know you always wanted to be there whenever angah posted her photos of her with those big flowers yet you will always adoring the beautiful landscapes,yes it was a real mesmerizing ma when i look it by myself,i would love to stay there someday and i would love to study abroad too if ada rezeki ayah kata.

Ma, if you are here, you'll gonna be surprise with myself,my looks,my height,and my everything lah ma,yet ma people said i had the same smile like you tau,hihi i dont know. but ma, i am still your dear only daughter,ma im growing up to be a real women,a well being muslimah, insyaAllah,yet im still trying hard day by day learning to be independent to live up my life,ma do you know that i will be turning 20 in few weeks,how quick the time has passed me by,i am glad that the life that i had now thought me alot in many ways,theres alot of things happen in my life that pulls me to be more stronger each day,and ma i promised you that i will be always stay positive and focus on what i dream and ma,i would like you to know that you're my soul, my courage,my sun,my moon, my favorite cookies,my favorite shoulder to bend on and most importantly,you're like my voice in my head that always push me to be what i want to be,to stay still and you would saying loudly to me do not get carried away with those unnecessary things that would turns me to be not being myself, ma,im sorry if there's a thing that ive already done that hurt your feeling before while you're still alive, ma i felt terribly regret when i did not spend enough time when you're sick, i did not stand by your side,i just stay away from you.ma,i felt really lost and scared when looking at your face,feels like crying in front of you all the time but ma when time after time i think about it,i should not be sad when i saw u in that critical time instead i should be stand beside you,encourage you to fight back the cancer but ma,i was still young little girl that doesn't know about the world enough in that matter of moment.

Ma, i guess that's it, i know its quite long and yet im not into pouring my feeling out that much but ive done it here now, ma,i always wish that youre still alive and be with me but i know Allah swt love you even more, ill pray that you will always be in the golongan para muslimah yang solehah and we will meet someday nanti kay ma,insyaAllah.and happy mother's day to you Ma,thanks for everything that you had taught me and the love that you had showered me before,and i would never ever turn your hope down and i promised that to you,
i love you now,always and forever,
may you rest in peace Ma.

much love and sincerely,
your dear daughter,


Qila.